A Funny Divorce Quote and A Note to Young Lovers

"Whenever I date a guy I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?' - Rita Rudner

This quote was funny to me at first, because Rita Rudner is funny, and I'm divorced with children.

But, then I realized, a young woman in love usually dreams about the opposite:

 'Will this guy be a good father and husband?'

That's when I thought this quote was scary.

It's not only imperative that my children choose the right partner for life/marriage, because I want them to be happy and have a healthy relationship and children, if they choose this lifestyle,

but also because divorce is a free right, and very commonly done in the U.S., 

so I want them to consider their rough patches in a more serious light, prior to marriage.

They need to ask themselves, 'If I don't like this now, how will it be if I wind up divorced from this person (which is a dirty business) and co-parenting for the rest of my life with them...

A Note for All Young Loves and Potential Marriages:

It doesn't get better after marriage and it surely won't get better after divorce...

Please pay attention to signs, red flags and issues...

No amount of love and wedding bells, or children, will fix these things.

And, it would be better to reevaluate now, before you live the rough patch, for the rest of your life, 

and as that person's worst enemy because then it's even less fun.

Not a downer, 

just the truth.

Marriage is serious business.

And should not be taken lightly.

What it Takes to Be Friends with Your 'X'

Here's how celebrities do it.

Not all divorcee's need to be friends.

If they already split the stuff, paid the bills and divided up the pets, they can essentially just move on, and possibly never speak to one another again.

For divorced parents, it is not that simple.

My parents were never friends....though I wish they had been.

The divorce itself was already stressful enough, drop-off's were even worse, and I hated it.

My current husband was very lucky, his father and mother were very mature. They were kind to one another and put themselves, and their troubles, aside for the children.

That's how it should be done. 
No one's better, no one's the winner or loser;
just two parents loving their children.

If parents can think and act this way, kids get the best of both parents and they feel they can talk to, and trust both of them, and won't fear getting caught in the middle.

In Successful Co-Parenting parents must remember, it's about communication, flexibility, cooperation and love....

It is the children's best interest which should always be at the forefront of the matter, moment and mood....hence why the court papers state this.

Let's not forget:

It took two to fall in love,

It took two to get married,

It took two to create the child.

It took two to reduce the marriage,

It took two to divorce,

And, it will take two to be friends....
and work together for the betterment of the child.

Ways to help divorced parents work together:

Make a Co-Parenting Resolution

10 Steps to Co-Parenting

Keep these tips in mind

~

If your 'X' is uncooperative, manipulative, 

unfair, unwilling to work together, unable to communicate,

or is unkind, you can only assume that they have not yet reached that point of peace with the divorce as you have. 

You will not be able to be friends with this person until they mature, forgive and find peace. And it's possible that it may never happen.

But, you can take these steps for your children's peace and well-being:

Working with the uncooperative 'X'

Take a deep breath and read this advice

Or maybe you need to seek some advice from the experienced:

Resource for reading:

 Co-Parenting with a Jerk

How do you successfully Co-Parent?