What it Takes to Let Go

Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. ~ Raymond Lindquist

Divorce Is Not Prejudice

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Remember Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres? They got together in 1997 and then split around 2000.
I liked both of them, separate and as a couple. I don't quite know what Anne Heche is up to but I know what Ellen is doing and I still think she is the bomb. She's funny, she's real and just seems like a great person.


I wrote on Yellow Inspiration recently, that in my eyes, those who are gay, bi sexual or 'straight', all should have the same right to marry whomever they choose.

I've supported gay marriage for a long time, but until recently, I hadn't really thought much about gay divorce.
When two people are in love, I support marriage, and because I never want to see anyone miserable...I support divorce.

With more and more same sex couples gaining the legal ability to tie the knot I wonder...will they enter into the bliss that many of us divorcee's have experienced...and then end up like us?? A statistic...

Most likely it's much too soon to tell, but will gay couples reach the 50% divorce rate like heterosexual couples have? Will it be because it was easy to wed? Or will they succeed better than we did because they had to fight for it?

Though I think that it might be a little pollyanna-ish and quite fantasy-like - but I have a ton of hope that maybe these newly married gay couples know something straight couples don't....

But in Anne and Helen's case you might say that Anne was to blame for the breakup because she wasn't being true to herself. And considering she went on to marry a man after Ellen, and have a baby, maybe she was pretending a little; trying on the lesbian hat so to speak. I cannot vouch for her.

Regardless of what sex you are, and what your sexual preferences are, divorce is not prejudice. Relationships end because two people decide not to work it out. (Though, as a note, if either partner is not being genuine, you'll end up divorced someday anyways.) Rule #1: to enter into a relationship and pretend to be someone you're not is dangerous and it's the first (of many) nails in the coffin, and is probably why so many divorces do happen. (Donald Trump had once said, 'Evey one will prove to be who they are eventually'...and it's the truth.)

So, if that were the case for them...how about Sara Gilbert and her mate?  Another one bites the dust I guess. I don't know their story, but it is probably another sad, confusing one, I'm sure. They have two children together. It's just like being married, then divorced.

I just wonder, will those who were not afforded matrimonial rights previously, and fought for them, find more peace and happiness in their marriages? Or will some of them reach misery and heartache, as I, and many others have, who've had these rights all along?

And will it be difficult for them to obtain a divorce?

In any event, Divorce Dazed is here for them if they ever need it...

Truly,

Amber

You Don't Have to Be Married to Be Divorced

Anyone who’s been in a long term relationship that has ended knows you don’t need to be married to be divorced.

Since marriage means 'union' and divorce means  'terminate the union'…the experiences and feelings will be  the same.

Now-a-days there are many couples who decide to live together; they combine finances, purchase things and even have pets and/or children together. 

Then one day, one (or both) parties want out.  It’s sad when any relationships end.
Albeit marriage or long-term relationship.

Which leads me to this post...you don't need to have walked down the isle to feel the loss the heartache.

The legal cost may be much less than that of a divorce (maybe even non-existent) but the pain, hassle and roller coaster is all the same.

So, if you are going through a separation and think that no one understands you, take solace in knowing that I do.

(I have had my experience with a relationship break up which felt like a bad marriage and ended in 'divorce'.)

Just take it one day at a time, like any divorce, and refer to these blogs and columns:

http://www.wakeuptoabreakup.tv/Top10-Websites.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm

In the following link I’d like to point out the dashed dreams part which is a problem for any relationship which had any emotional attachment:

‘Invested Dreams and Plans…The toughest hurdle to overcome when there is this type of break up is formulating new dreams and plans, mainly because up to the break up point, all the plans and dreams included the other person. ‘

http://relationshipadvicenow.org/overcoming-the-break-up-of-a-long-term-relationship/

So, even though you're divorced, remember that tomorrow is a new day and ‘Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them.’ --Shawn Alexander...

Truly,

Amber