Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Did You Know? Stats on Marriage and Divorce




According to Deborah Mitchell's post on EmaxHealth.com (July 2010):

'You can decrease the chance you will divorce by 24 percent if you wait until you are older than 25 to get married, by 14 percent if your parents are happily married, and by 13 percent if you have attended college.'


AND....


'If you are a farmer, your chances of getting a divorce are low, only 7.63 percent. Nuclear engineers have a 7.29 percent chance while optometrists face a 4.01 percent likelihood.'


Check out the other statistics believed to be the cause for divorces or longer marriages
at EmaxHealth.com.



Monday, February 27, 2012

Divorce: Even if there's still love?

Find at Free-Extras.com



Just had to share this article...

A question which is often asked:

Is is normal to still love your spouse, but still want a divorce?

Yes.

I did.
It felt weird.
But, felt right

....and I survived.
~
This article is awesome, check it out!
I wish I knew then, what I know now...
I had never read anything like this when I was going through my divorce. It would have been quite helpful in the healing process.


Friday, February 24, 2012

Fun Friday: They Feel the Same About Each Other


allbestwallpapers.com


Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. 
-Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
(A conversation between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill)





Monday, February 20, 2012

Divorce and Separation Announcements This Year



There have been a number of celebrity divorce/separation announcements since january 1st!


No, I don't know Kenny G. personally, but I walked down a grassy green wedding isle, in my 'X'-inlaws yard to his music, a long time ago. I appreciate his music and always will, likewise we always want the best for those we appreciate. I am sad to hear this news.

As I am always quite saddened to hear the news of so many divorces happening, whether they are neighbors or celebrities, it always seems heart breaking.

Here is a list of Celebrity Divorce or Separation Announcements since January 1st:
(I'm sure there are more, which I have not found/caught up with yet.)

Kim Kardashian
Senaed Oconnor (twice?)


I don't know which is worse, thinking they were happy, knowing they were happy and now they're not, or seeing them not make it through...

At any rate it's sad.


Friday, February 17, 2012

Fun Friday Quote and A Note



Anyone who's been divorced knows how crazy it sounds to get remarried.

I know, because I did it, 
and what's more crazy is that
 once you are married the second time, 
it actually seems even more crazy now that you've done it! 

~

This is my wedding cake from my recent re-marriage
 and what might not be too apparent is that on the left side of the cake 
is a framed quote.
It reads....

"I love being married. 
It's so great to find that one special person
 you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 
-Anonymous

Life isn't perfect,
People aren't perfect,
Marriage and divorce are far from perfect.

So, if you are thinking about doing the unthinkable, 
like getting remarried, 
Remember this: 
Marriage is the same the second time around- it's hard work.

And divorce is no easier.

No matter how you slice it, 
neither is a piece of cake.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

When the 'X' Can't Move On and Causes Drama



When the 'X' brings up lot's of drama, like this poor woman, you have to feel bad for her.

When this happens, there is one of three things going on here:

1. She wants her 5 minutes of fame
2. She is money motivated
3. She just cannot let go of her 'X'
4. She wants revenge


In the case of #1 and #2, the woman is obviously looking for attention and/or money...poor thing.

In case #3 and #4, I suppose the sad truth is, she is not able to move on, poor, poor thing.

No matter what is going on in your divorce (or in your 'X's new life), there is no reason to be like this.
It not only causes unwanted stress for both families (as in this case), but also makes you both look bad.

So, for whatever reason this woman felt so inclined to share her 'X's sexual-suggestions, back when they were married, it really is:

 1. None of anyone else's business
 2. Not going to do anything but make the crier look like they can't let go



Read this and tell me your thoughts.


Thursday, February 9, 2012

Fun Friday Quote


Divorce is like a cold; you come down with one; you get better; and you hope you never get another 
Submitted anonymously

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Boycott Valentines Day!

                                                   

During my divorce it seemed Valentines was a wasted holiday, stupid actually.

I thought to myself: Flower prices are hiked up, dinner reservations are impossible to get and the pressure to have a Valentine, or Be One, is incredibly annoying.

It made me want to boycott Valentine's Day altogether. 
But, that's a little extreme. Just because I didn't have a mate, didn't mean I had to hate the #1 Day of Love.

Instead, I decided to view V-Day differently. Instead of focusing on the fact that I didn't have anything to celebrate...I chose to focus on the meaning behind the day itself...expressing love.

As much as the mushy day seems quite focused on couples, it really is a day to celebrate Love in general. That can be any love. Love with your children, love with your family, love for your friends...and the one we tend to forget about most...ourselves!

Happy Valentine's to You. Celebrate yourself, the strides you've made, the life you are building and the future that is yours.

This Valentine's Day, don't boycott the day, just celebrate it a different way.
Do something for you! You deserve it! Most importantly, you deserve Self-Love.



Monday, February 6, 2012

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Does Drinking Together Make A Marriage Last?



Remember t-shirts like this one? These shirt's made jokes out of the fact that people looked better after we'd had a few. They are pretty funny actually and it's true, alcohol can change a person's perception, as well as drop their inhibitions...so, I suppose this could be good for marriages, right?

I know some married couples who have nightly cocktails together. It's their routine of winding down and it's also occasionally part of their date nights as well, when they 'go out for a few'.

I've often wondered, like the shirt states, can a few drinks make anything look attractive?

Including our marriage?

I cannot answer that myself because once my 'X' and I were married with children, we drank very little. If we did drink, it was once in a blue moon and/or at the annual company Christmas party. So, for me, I will never know if 'having a few' would've made my marriage look better (or last).

If it does work for some, that is all well and good. But, I have to wonder...

What about when the couple is still married twenty, thirty or fifty years later, and maybe they're not drinking anymore...and suddenly they wake up one day wondering how the hell they lived with that bleepity-bleep-bleep for so long.

I'm assuming that that if 'issues' that are present in a marriage are never death with, won't the problems still be there later on in life?

I also have to wonder if the few cocktails they shared, and which helped them to clear their minds, becomes a neverending ritual of 'not dealing with it'.

I still don't know the answer to this question and I'm truly looking for insight and reflection on this.

So, I'd like to ask readers:
Do most married couples benefit from enjoying a drink together frequently because it helps them relax and tolerate the tough times (including their mates shortcomings) into which it preserves the length of the relationship....

Or, is this a habit that promotes postponing the inevitable?


I loved this blog post from a fellow blogger. The bravery she had to put out there that she does her evening glass, and  has set a goal to give up her nightly routine of it for 30 days.  Albeit it's for her self and not her marriage, I just wanted to share this post because I admire her frankness and courage.


Alcohol...the cure, the bandaid, or the sword?