After a married couple becomes divorced they tend to start
feeling different than their married friends.
The still-married friends tend to pull away, while the divorced ones themselves begin gravitating towards other divorcees, hoping to be understood and accepted.
It's sad, but this is when you find out who your true friends are.
Unfortunately, many divorcees feel like the black sheep because, although 50 % of married couples are divorced, they still somehow feel different because they're divorced.
Call it stigma, low-self-esteem, or trying to find their new place in society...
A divorcee will always see another divorcee as 'one of them' and as someone who's 'experiencing the same turmoil, struggles and emotion's'. They automatically feel normal, accepted, and 'okay to be divorced'.
There's nothing wrong with finding people to relate to, that is important during divorce, but there are lots of divorcees who just want to complain, share war stories and down their 'X'.
Boring.
Not to mention unproductive and unhealthy.
If you are divorced, and find the need to 'relate' to other divorcees, remember to stay positive and find things to talk about that are condusive to healing...rather than rehashing-which can cause more pain and anxiety.
If you are married, do your best to stay close to your divorced friends, they need support.
Don't alienate them because they are no longer married.
If you are a genuine friend, than it shouldn't matter that they're not married anymore...
And I would hope that it was not the only reason you were friends to begin with.
Don't worry, divorce isn't contagious...at least not the last time I checked.
For the divorcee who feels alone, you are not. You just made room for better friends.
And if you are lucky enough that your married friends are sticking with you, remember to keep a cap on some of the emotional turmoil and try not to allow the irritations from your 'X' bubble over in daily conversations.
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.- Elizabeth Foley
The still-married friends tend to pull away, while the divorced ones themselves begin gravitating towards other divorcees, hoping to be understood and accepted.
It's sad, but this is when you find out who your true friends are.
Unfortunately, many divorcees feel like the black sheep because, although 50 % of married couples are divorced, they still somehow feel different because they're divorced.
Call it stigma, low-self-esteem, or trying to find their new place in society...
A divorcee will always see another divorcee as 'one of them' and as someone who's 'experiencing the same turmoil, struggles and emotion's'. They automatically feel normal, accepted, and 'okay to be divorced'.
There's nothing wrong with finding people to relate to, that is important during divorce, but there are lots of divorcees who just want to complain, share war stories and down their 'X'.
Boring.
Not to mention unproductive and unhealthy.
If you are divorced, and find the need to 'relate' to other divorcees, remember to stay positive and find things to talk about that are condusive to healing...rather than rehashing-which can cause more pain and anxiety.
If you are married, do your best to stay close to your divorced friends, they need support.
Don't alienate them because they are no longer married.
If you are a genuine friend, than it shouldn't matter that they're not married anymore...
And I would hope that it was not the only reason you were friends to begin with.
Don't worry, divorce isn't contagious...at least not the last time I checked.
For the divorcee who feels alone, you are not. You just made room for better friends.
And if you are lucky enough that your married friends are sticking with you, remember to keep a cap on some of the emotional turmoil and try not to allow the irritations from your 'X' bubble over in daily conversations.
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.- Elizabeth Foley
Truly,
Amber
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