Marriage VS. Remarriage and Rose Colored Glasses

In first marriages I think that some of us may have been wearing our rose colored glasses. 

We are usually much younger and are also most likely looking for that someone (or something) to complete us...

What we don’t realize is that we must be complete-separately, before we are able to be complete-together and that with unrealistic ideals and promises it's no wonder it ends...

Here's my rendition of vows as we decide to marry the first time Vs. remarrying after divorce.

1st Marriage:
I am perfect, and darling you are too…so we will be perfect together.

I will fulfill your every desire, and sweety you will be all I will ever need too.

I will forever read your mind and honey, you can already read mine.

I will always make time for you…and I know that you will do the same.

I will never hurt you, we will never argue and we will never have to say we are sorry...

Because we love each other....we will live happily ever after.

'Pity all newlyweds.  She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think:  How easy marriage is.'  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Remarriage:
I am not perfect; I do not always cook or clean…

Oh, and I may lose my temper from time to time…
You are not perfect either…. I know you like to leave your socks on the floor and  your dishes in the sink.

I am sure that I will say things I may regret and I know that you will hurt me too…

Because we are only human....

I will not always know what you want, or what you’re thinking, but I will assume I do...

Which will irritate you immensely.

We will make each other angry and have major disagreements...

And I know that you will ignore me sometimes to watch sports on TV and that I will spend too long on the phone when it’s time to leave the house....

I will not promise to be perfect...
But I can say this:
If we do our best to be better tomorrow than we are today, pick our battles and say we are sorry if we mess up...AND....
Accept ourselves and each other for who we are (good and bad) and have realistic expectations and an amazing appreciation for one another and the time we spend together....

 We could live happily ever after... 

'Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.'~Langdon Mitchell  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Divorced five years ago, and heading into my second marriage in just a few short months, I've been taking another look at what went wrong in my first marriage (as if I hadn't done this a million times already) but I still cannot completely and 100 % find the one single fault that brought us down....

I know this though: It took two going in, and it surely took two heading out.
         
Divorce will always be a reminder of how two peoples weaknesses, bad habits, stubbornness or unrealistic expectations can undermind 'happily ever after'...

I've taken off the rose colored glasses this time...it's all good.

(Well, it may not ALL be good, but at least we see it for what it is and accept it...and that's half the battle and the first sign of being in reality...no fairy tale here;)

Truly,

Amber