The Big 'D' = The Big 'O'

Everyone knows the story about the boy who cried wolf…

It was the old fable that taught us not to say things we don’t mean, or that are not true; to get something we want.

Using the ‘D’ word in a marriage can be similar to this fable.

If a spouse mentions divorce, they should understood that ‘D’ = ‘O’.

Divorce means the marriage is OVER. ‘Irreconcilable differences beyond repair.’

That’s right…If you decide to even utter the ‘D’ word to your spouse, you better be ready for the marriage to be over.

Because once spoken, your spouse now has the option. 

They do not have to stay, they can leave.

So, if you are looking to fix your marriage, do not threaten your spouse with the ‘D’ word.

This is not a successful form of reconciliation. And is nothing but an empty threat, where you hope to see significant changes.

It is useless and is far from any type of problem solving.

When I told my husband I wanted a divorce I was more than ready to call it quits.

And that was a good thing, because he certainly wasn’t fighting to stay married to me. 

I gave him the option. He took it.

I was not regretful. And I’d imagine he wasn’t either.

But a very important thing that I needed to do was prepare myself mentally.

I had to be sure I was ready.

I was. I knew that I had done my duty as a wife. I had given my marriage the amount of time and energy out of my life that I felt it deserved.

I had overturned every stone possible.

And when I pulled the punches and called ‘D’… it was not a threat, it was the end.

There were no ultimatums, no more chances. 

Divorce is the END of marriage. Not the middle or the ‘maybe he will change’, or the ‘maybe she will come around’ –

'D' is the Big ‘O’.

It’s OVER.

So the next time you think that you want a divorce, really really think about that.

A question that one of my good friends asked me during my struggle to decide was:

Can you imagine your spouse with someone else? 

Then ask:

Can you deal with not living with him/her for another day?

Can you imagine your future without him/her?

If you can say yes to all three, than you might be ready for the Big ‘O’ and you can use the Big ‘D’.

Otherwise, stop crying wolf.

Truly,

Amber