Share the Love...

If you are divorced and have children....maybe your divorce was many years ago, or your divorce was when your children were little and now they are old enough to ask questions, or worse, they probably forgot how things ‘were’ or how you and your ‘X’ looked back when you were together.

Go ahead and share some stories of your marriage with your kids.

WHY? You ask…?

Because… that is where your child started from.

And as much as some divorcee’s hate to admit it, mom and dad used to be in love once.

Don’t shield them from these past events and memories.

Share funny stories, campouts or fishing trips.

Show photos of old pets, birthdays and holidays.

Kids of divorce love seeing baby pictures and remembering childhood in a good light.

Because for them right now, all they are used to hearing is the bad stuff and why their mom doesn’t like their dad and why their dad is urked by their mom.

They want to know their father/mother in a positive light, likewise they want to know them when they were once together. Even though mom and dad will not be ‘getting back together’ they still want to know or remember how it once was.

Otherwise, they be left wondering, ‘why’d my parents have me in the first place, if they don’t like each other?’ Sometimes feeling rejected and lost.

For their sake, share the good times, the fun and the old love from the past, in which they ultimately were created from.

Give them an understanding more about where they came from (a couple in love who enjoyed x amount of years as husband and wife), rather than where they are now (in the middle of a divorce).

And try doing it with a smile.

'I did it this past week and my kids ooohed and aaahhhhed at the dog we had when he was a puppy and took several second glances at their father and mother, since she had 80's hair and he doesn't look much like he used too-but of course back then we were just 22.' It was fun to share it. They seemed to feel more connected but it didn't harm them at all, since they went right back to doing what it was that they were doing).

Truly,

Amber