The Stakes are Higher for Divorced Parents

 Often we’ve heard of parents who consistently pull their kids in opposite directions after their divorce. 

Sometimes even forcing a child to do what they want them to do, not because it’s what’s best for the child, but because they think it’s the opposite of what the ‘X’ wants.

Many times, and at certain ages, kids are able to make their own choices; like whether or not they want to dress a certain way, join a particular sport, what career they'd like to pursue, which religion they prefer and/or political preference they are taking on.

It’s unfair that just because two parent’s divorce, the child is now be forced to take sides or choose according to one parent’s view points.

This is despicable not to mention painful and confusing for the child. 

A child of divorce is still an individual. 

They’re the same person they were before the divorce and their opinions and preferences were- and still are- their own. 

Now, after divorce a child can be thrust into the middle of a tug of war and sometimes is made to see life through two different sets of eyes, and neither of them is his own. 

If divorced parents want to play ‘teams’  they are going to be successful at only one thing…

Failing their children.

After a divorce a child is dying to find normalcy; striving to reach neutral ground. And rightfully so.

They were part of a bad marriage and now they are part of an ugly divorce.

An angry and resentful parent’s goal is to Win the game by earning a valuable team player (the new team player being the child).

This game is a dangerous one because if the child does not catch on to the parent’s motives right away, they eventually will. 

Then, all respect is lost for that parent. 

Kids don’t want to be on anyone else’s team. They want to be on their own. 

Children are the innocent ones in divorce, but most often become stuck in the middle of their parents’ ugly battles. They don’t want to be part of the chaos. 

Kids are the innocent ones and often are the most harmed when parents want to play tug of war with emotions of anger and resentment running high.

They just want to enjoy life, divorce and all. They simply want quality time with their parents and to be loved for who they are.

If you are divorced with children, or know someone who is, please stick up for the child by helping the parents face the reality that their children are going to become who they want to be. Regardless of how hard the parent's play the game... kids are not interested in picking side- they are interested in just living life.

(And if attorneys fees seem expensive, a child’s respect will be a much higher price to pay.)

Truly,

Amber